Marriage

I have had many friends and followers ask me how Matt and I find time to ourselves and/or keep the spark alive in our marriage. I figured with Valentine's Day right around the corner this is the perfect time to write a post about it!

This past New Year's Eve my husband, Matt and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary!
I have heard that "the first year is the hardest." I didn't find this to be true for us though. I was so excited to marry Matt and I remember the first few months after our wedding getting butterflies being able to say "my husband" as I tried to hold back smiling up to my ears. Over these past five years we have matured and grown. We were only 21 and 22 years old when we got married. A lot has happened since we said "I do." We have had THREE more kids, moved three times and even bought a puppy! Here is what we do to keep our marriage a strong one.

Compromise

No marriage is perfect! I am a firm believer in this. Every relationship has their ups and downs and people in relationships will argue at some point. You can't agree on everything, you are two different people. Matt and I like to compromise if he is set on his way about something and I feel totally different we put our marriage first and find a compromise. Marriage can be hard it takes work at times.

Where it all started

Two people need to share the responsibility for romance and love in the relationship. Marriage is not a one sided thing you BOTH have to put in the effort. Once you have kids it is even harder to remember life before them. I do my best to occasionally look back at old pictures and remember how my heart would race when Matt would just even look at me and my eyes would light up.

Appreciate each other

It feels good to be appreciated. It is as simple as that. Matt goes to work for our family. He sits in traffic and works all day. I know most people do this, but he does this for me, so I can be at home where I want to be taking care of our beautiful babies and so we have a warm home to sleep in and food to eat. I don't tell him enough how much I appreciate all he has done and continues to do for his family. Take the time to tell them how much you appreciate them!

Little things

This falls under appreciating each other I believe, but doing little things every day for each other makes a world of difference in a a relationship. For example, Matt will fill up my gas tank if he sees it is low or pick up the one grocery I forgot at the store or move the wash to the dryer. Every morning I make his coffeee and lunch and when we are watching a show I will sometimes scratch his back, because I want to make him know I am thinking about him, even if it is just a small thing like picking up his clothes if he forgot to throw them in the hamper.  These little things don't go unnoticed.

Date night in or out

Whenever I feel like our kids schedules or just life in general is getting overwhelming and we aren't spending enough time together one of us usually suggests a date night. We put the kids to bed (early like usual) pick a show or a movie to watch, get some take out and just enjoy some time together in peace. Obviously, it is nice to go out too, but I prefer to save it for special occasions like birthdays or our anniversary.

Matt and me have never really had much time as just us. I got pregnant with Landon very soon after we started dating and since then our relationships main focus became our kids. Even with four kids we know our marriage comes first to the both of us. When our kids grow up (because sadly they all do) Matt and I will be just that, Matt and I. Lucky for us, we had our kids young so hopefully when our kids are older, we can take that time to travel and actually enjoy a vacation without having to worry about nap times.

I want our children to grow up with a strong example of a happy marriage.  

Hope you found this post to be a helpful!

Trent is THREE

I don't think I have written an update on Trent since he turned one!

There is so much to say about our youngest son, so I am going to jump right in! Ever since Trent was born, he has been a mama's boy. I nursed him the longest besides Rose and I have always felt such a special, yet different bond to him compared to our other boys. I am not sure how many of you know this, but Matt and I picked the name Trent because it is my maiden name.  When I found out we were having our THIRD boy, I was shocked to say the least. I was 110% sure Trent was a girl, so much so that I had bought some bows already. We went in for our NT Scan at 13 weeks and the ultrasound tech said she was sure it was a boy. I didn't believe her and I thought she was wrong and I was in denial for weeks! We went to two or three gender scans outside my OB practice and they all said the same thing. It wasn't until our 20 week gender scan, where they confirmed yet again, we were indeed having our third boy that I started to warm up to the idea! The thought of Landon and Oliver having a little brother to follow them around and be the three little amigos made my heart melt! I reminded myself how badly I wanted a third child--boy or girl. Matt and I wanted another baby it didn't matter the sex all that mattered was that they were healthy and he was.

Trent was our only child to not need any NICU time after birth. You may not think that is a very big deal, but trust me as a mother who has experienced both having your brand new baby taken from you for days, weeks or even months after birth or getting to cuddle, nurse and bond with your baby right from the womb and take them home with you-- it is a WORLD of difference. I am not saying I don't have a strong bond with the rest of my children, but my bond with Trent is different. Trent has always been unique, I mean just look at him! He has a fair skin tone, blue/green eyes and is BLONDE! I never in a million years thought I would have blonde baby! Since his skin is so fair and dry he has AWFUL eczema. Matt and I have to literally put vaseline all over his body after showers or his skin cracks.

As for personality, I mentioned before, he is a true mama's boy. Trent wants to be with me all the time which has obviously brought up major challenges because Rose is always very clingy and wants to be held by me all the time, so they both cry at my feet wanting to be picked up which is so hard. Trent loves Rose, but he needs to feel comforted and loved by me or he has a meltdown. The older they get the easier it is getting though! Trent has really bonded with Matt over Hot Wheels recently and it is so nice to see them playing together for hours on the floor. I know most two and three year olds are picky eaters, but there is no way they are more picky than our T man. Luckily, Matt can get him to eat, but it is a struggle. I am not even talking about fruit and vegetables, just any food! It is something I can't wait to bring up at his check up next week. Its strange because he doesn't look skinny Trent has always been a different build than his brothers more muscular, but I assure you he hardly eats!

Literally, the day Trent turned two, he didn't like choo choo trains anymore which was rough, because his theme was Thomas the Train and he became OBSESSED with Lightning McQueen (the theme for his third birthday this year!) We have to listen to the Cars intro song by Sheryl Crow on repeat in the car, the second he wakes up he grabs a little Lightning McQueen car to hold and play with the entire day-- kind of like a security blanket. Out of all four kids, Trent is by far the most shy. If a stranger is to even look at him, he hides behind me and won't make eye contact the entire time

This past September, Matt and I signed Trent up for preschool twice a week for three hours. The first few weeks were hard he cried some when we left, but he has really adjusted and loves his teacher so much. We potty trained Trent in July this past summer when he was 2 and a half years old and it took him maybe 2 days to get the hang of it and we haven't looked back since! Another big change for Trent over this past summer was we moved him out of his crib and into a toddler bed in his bothers room so all three boys are now sleeping in one room and Princess Rose has her own room-- haha! Trent LOVES being treated like such a big boy so much so he decided this past month he no longer needs a nap and trust me when I say this he does, he really, really does.

                 

We all adore Trent in this house he will always be the baby boy. Landon and Oliver enjoy looking after him and guiding him when he needs help. Trent, I can't imagine my life without you. I couldn't be more proud of the kind boy you are growing up to be. I'll love you forever my sweet boy.